


Hear me in the harmony

by carpeziam



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Life on the Road, M/M, On the Road Again Tour, One Direction Tours, Romance, Tour Fic, Ziam fic, ziam, ziam smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-16 07:06:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3478922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carpeziam/pseuds/carpeziam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam had feelings for Zayn since the night they met the artist, but it would take two long years before Zayn would realise that he felt the same way.   When Zayn gets an offer he can't refuse at their end of tour party, all bets are off... or are they? </p>
<p>Or, the one where Zayn & Liam realise they need to form an R&B duo, Niall falls in love and Harry and Louis do what Harry and Louis do best; be hopelessly infatuated with each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hear me in the harmony

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired mainly by the pictures and videos, music and style coming out of the OTRA tour.
> 
> Title taken from Harry Connick Jr's 1996 song.

How many times do you need to see the same set of fireworks before they become boring? Night after night, time and again the crowd oohed and aaahed in all the right places, but Liam had become jaded. How could something so beautiful become just a marker – something to happen before the next song, the next city, the next tour. This was Liam’s dream and he could feel it becoming mundane, but the beauty of working with his four best friends meant that they weren’t going to let him miss the magic.

Niall wrapped his arm over Liam’s shoulder and pointed down to three girls with tear stained faces and beaming smiles. The sign held high above their heads was lit up with fairy lights that proclaimed LIAM, ARGENTINA LOVES YOU! They were such a long way from home and for a brief moment, Liam’s eyes were as twinkly as the sign. A quick punch on the arm from Niall and he was on his way, running with Harry in a race to the end of the catwalk. Liam lingered for a moment longer and the girls could see him staring, misty eyed at the effort they’d gone to for a nobody from Wolverhampton.

Liam, momentarily energised, turned and headed for his mic stand at the top of the stage. He hit his next verse perfectly, vocals soaring over the band, who were on fire tonight. Clasping his mic with two hands, he tilted his head to the left and there was Zayn, eyes scrunched up, softly nodding his head at Liam, his lips forming just one word – nice. Liam wouldn’t expect anything less from his best friend. The boys knew Zayn had the voice they all wanted, but Zayn himself was oblivious. He was constantly encouraging Liam, seemingly endlessly impressed with his sound, despite hearing it day in day out for five years.

Zayn’s quiet appreciation had become Liam’s strength and the source of his confidence on stage, not that anybody would know that. To the outside, they were just two mates on the biggest ride of their lives – part of an experience that only five in seven billion people would ever understand.

Harry, Niall, Louis and Zayn were four of the stupidest lads Liam had ever met and he loved them like brothers. Just before tonight’s gig had started, Louis had promised them that he’d impress them with something new tonight, and true to his word, as the last set of fireworks hit the sky and Liam and Zayn carried the vocals, he moved to the front of the stage and began the worst dance routine Liam had ever seen. Arms and legs out of time, head bopping and hip swinging, the crowd went wild, and Harry (never one to let a moment slip away) immediately joined in. Somehow Haz managed to pick up the moves and Liam wasn’t convinced that they hadn’t planned it in advance. But dancing wasn’t any of their specialty, and the sight of Harry whacking Lou across the face when they got out of time sent Liam over the edge. He doubled over with laugher, leaving Zayn to take the lead with the track.

When he’d recovered from the giggles enough to start singing again, he looked over and realised Zayn was in *that* place. Eyes closed, one arm in the air, blissed out. Liam knew what to do. He opened his mouth and their harmony filled the arena, leaving half the crowd screaming and half the crowd clutching at their chests, overwhelmed by what they were hearing. Zayn’s expression changed; eyes still closed, but the rest of his face relaxed, comfortable in the security Liam’s voice gave him. They sounded perfect and they both knew it. The other three boys carried on, and Harry flicked Louis a tiny look that only the two of them would understand – they knew that electric feeling because they’d been there together themselves.

.....

 

Often after a show, the boys would gather in Zayn’s room to wind down together. Five star hotels are so glamorous, until you stay in them 45 weeks a year for five years, and then you’d give anything for your own bed. So the boys hung out together so it felt less like solitary confinement and more like home. Liam let himself into Zayn’s suite after a long shower and a change of clothes. All he wanted was a beer and to put his feet up with the lads until he was ready to crash for the night, so when Harry pushed a bottle into his hands the minute he walked through the door, he went to say thanks. Haz put his hand over Liam’s mouth.

“Keep your voice down Li, Zayn’s on the phone in the bathroom and we’re tryin’ to listen”

Liam rolled his eyes at Harry and sighed when he saw Louis and Niall pressed up against the bathroom door. Inside though, his heart beat just a fraction quicker. He wanted to know what Zayn was saying in there as much as they did…. probably more.

This time last week Zayn spoke to his girl and she told him she wanted to get married or she was done. It was just too hard for her - too many months away, too many scratchy phone calls, too many jumpy skype calls. It was now or never. Zayn had told her he needed to think about it, which he probably did, but he also made the fatal error of telling the lads, so he automatically ended up with four different opinions which he never asked for.

Niall, never one to settle with one girl when there was one in every country told him to cut her free.

Louis, ever the romantic, told him to go home and marry her, to settle down and be comfortable. It was easy for Lou though – he’d found what he was looking for, and what he was looking for travelled with him around the world, stood next to him on stage each night and then held him until morning.

Harry couldn’t ever tell Zayn what to do, but he said that his view on love was that if you had to consider your options, then it wasn’t enough. “There isn’t a question when it comes to real love, it just exists, no questions needed.” Harry said that night, gently twining his fingers through Louis’.

“What about you Li?” Zayn said softly, staring down into his hands. “What do I do?”

Liam didn’t know what to tell him. He knew how he felt about Zayn and his heart was screaming to tell him to walk away from her. But his feelings had been buried so many times that he had become an expert at hiding. Liam and Zayn were best mates - he was a fool to think Zayn felt the same way for him the way he did for Zayn.

“Trust your heart Z. It’s going to tell you the right thing to do. Whatever the right thing is, we’re here and we support it.” The others nodded in agreement, but by the way Zayn looked up and locked eyes with him, Liam knew he understood what he’d really been saying.

“ _I’m_ here. _I_ support you.”

The boys had moved away from the bathroom door and had settled in their usual positions, Niall sprawled on the floor, close to the coffee table covered in snacks, Liam on one sofa, tucked up in the corner and Louis and Harry tangled together on the other, Harry’s arms wrapped around Louis’ chest. It’s how they always ended up after a gig – perfect for watching music clips on TV, playing FIFA or debriefing after the latest show. Zayn’s spot was at the other end of Liam’s sofa. They’d always sit together, but apart.

Not tonight. Zayn walked out of the bathroom and said nothing, took a bottle of vodka from the bar and went out onto the balcony. The five of them normally avoided being out on any balcony for too long – their privacy was immediately gone out there, but Zayn needed to smoke and he needed fresh air, as ridiculous as the combination sounded. The boys looked at each other, before Harry finally spoke. “You go Li. He’s gonna wanna to talk to you.”

But Liam couldn’t move. He didn’t know what had happened in the phone conversation and he was too terrified to find out. “I can’t lads, I’ll jus’ be too serious for him. Nialler, you go. Cheer him up, and for god’s sake get that vodka bottle from his hand while he’s sitting out there”

Niall got a glass from the kitchenette, took it to the balcony, swapped the bottle for the glass with Zayn and filled it with vodka. Liam could see them, Zayn chain smoking and passing his glass back to Niall for refills. After half an hour, Niall came back in. “They broke up lads. He’s not good."

Harry and Louis looked at each other. They knew that neither of them could say the right thing, nor pretend to understand. They hadn’t experienced heartache like that before. Since they were 18, they’d been each other’s best friend, confidante and lover. Life on the road gave them experiences no normal person could dream of, but the only romantic experience they’d had was with each other, and as much as they loved Zayn, they knew they weren’t the right ones to comfort him.

Niall turned to Liam. “Go mate, this one is yours. Just try and get him to get up, go to bed and get some sleep. He’ll be better in the morning”

Liam knew it was the right thing to do, the right thing for Zayn. Shame the pounding in his chest and the tingle spreading throughout his body was telling him otherwise. He nodded, and Harry and Louis headed off, Lou’s hands behind him, leading Haz as they left. Niall pottered about the suite tidying things up as Liam opened the balcony door to be with Zayn, who was sitting with his back to the view of the sparkling city below them.

“Niall told us what happened. I’m just going to sit here with you for a while.” Liam slid the heavy door closed and set himself down against the balcony wall, next to Zayn. Inside, Niall waved goodbye and let himself out, no doubt off for a secret rendezvous out of the hotel, one of his favourite pastimes while on tour.

Zayn never spoke much, and Liam didn’t expect him to say a word now. He looked at Zayn as he stared into the ground, his new haircut making it impossible to keep the hair from falling over his eyes. Even in his time of sadness, Zayn’s silhouette made Liam’s breath catch in his chest. It took every ounce of willpower Liam had not to reach out, push Zayn’s hair away from his eyes and brush his thumb along his lips.

“I did the right thing Li” Zayn whispered, partly to Liam, partly to himself. “I didn’t love her enough. Haz was right; I had to ask myself too many times if it was love when I knew it just wasn’t.”

The cool night had set in around them and Zayn shivered, his black singlet doing little to keep the chill away. Liam took a deep breath and put his hand over Zayn’s. “I told you’d I’d be here, whatever decision you made. I’m not going anywhere Z.” Heart racing, Liam wondered if he’d been too obvious, if Zayn would flinch at the gentle contact between their hands.

Zayn squeezed his fingers together around Liam’s, his thumb wrapping tightly around Liam’s little finger. He stared down at the ground and whispered “Don’t let go Li, not tonight.”

Liam was swamped with mixed emotions. The guilt and the sadness Zayn was feeling was killing Liam, but he wouldn’t have traded the feeling of having his fingers intertwined in this way for anything.

 

....

 

Five years ago, Liam was the most ambitious teenager his teachers had ever seen. Bright eyed with talent to burn, nobody expected him to stay in the one place for long and they were proved right sooner than they thought. From the minute he was put together with Lou, Haz, Nialler and Z, he knew he’d stumbled upon something very special.

Harry and Louis immediately hit it off. People who don’t believe in love at first sight had never seen those two together. Those first few years on the road cemented their relationship and they were the backbone of the family that the five of them found themselves instantly in. Haz and Lou were the go-to couple for long discussions, fashion advice and the latest tips on who was dating who, or who should be dating who.

Niall was the little brother of their group, always causing mischief and as time went on, finding himself getting into mischief with the women of the world too. Every day he’d have a new story about where’d he’d been overnight when security went to bed, who he’d met and what he’d done to them. The four boys loved catching up on Niall’s escapades most mornings over tea and toast before their whirlwind days started.

Zayn was the quietest of the lads. An artist, he loved sneaking away for quiet drawing or painting time. He had intrigued Liam from the moment they met, and as they spent more and more time together sharing their lives on planes and buses, Liam realised they had formed a strong friendship, different to the one he had with the others.

A musician in a famous band wouldn’t be living the life if he didn’t have beautiful women around and Liam was no exception. There had been girls at every turn for years now. Some serious, some not serious, but always there was somebody around. Zayn too had a string of girlfriends, all who loved him, some who followed him around the world, but all who ultimately were told he wasn’t ready for commitment, and sent home.

The one constant Zayn and Liam had was each other. In the single times, they would point out pretty girls in the crowds to each other, their secret coded finger point becoming legendary amongst the boys. In times when they’d found somebody more serious, they’d sit up late discussing the ins and outs of their relationships, always understanding how the other one would feel.

It was two years ago when Liam realised he had feelings for Zayn. He was climbing into bed one night mid tour when he heard a knock at his door. Padding to the door and peeking through the peep hole, he could see Zayn standing on the other side. “Open up Li,” Zayn hissed “we’re going out.”

Twenty minutes and a change of clothes later, Liam was in the back of a black SUV with Zayn, being taken to an underground gallery in a back street of a city that he didn’t know at all. Zayn knew people in the art communities of every place they visited and tonight they were getting a sneak peek of a new photography exhibition that wasn’t due to open until the weekend. “Z I’m hopeless at this stuff, why are you taking me here?” Zayn looked at him and shook his head, laughing quietly “because I don’t want you to miss out – this is gonna be sick.”

And it was. The gallery was filled with black and white photos of their favourite musicians being snapped by the paparazzi. It was perfect - their idols captured in the same way they now found themselves day in, day out. Liam’s breath was taken away by a photo taken outside the very arena they were performing in tomorrow night, a million camera flashes captured in the light of the image.

It dawned on him in that moment that he cared about Zayn more than just as a friend. Zayn knew him inside and out and Liam could be himself around him – more than he could say for any woman he’d dated. He felt a sense of relief for finally realising it, which was soon replaced with terror. Zayn. He had feelings for Zayn. How could he ever tell him that?

Liam turned to find his best friend, and spied him in the corner with the artist responsible for the images around them. Tall, thin, with long blonde hair twisted around her face, she was beautiful, and Liam wasn’t the only one to think so.

Two years later, it was the artist on the phone to Zayn in the bathroom. They’d been together since the night Liam realised how he felt.

 

.....

 

Liam and Zayn sat on the balcony, hand in hand for what seemed like hours. Finally, when the cold got the better of him, Liam put his head next to Zayn’s. “Come on, let’s go inside, you need to try and sleep Z.” Zayn nodded, his lips in their natural pout almost sending Liam off the balcony with desire. He stood, and put his hands down to help Zayn up. Zayn grabbed both of Liam’s hands and rose up to meet him. Even though he’d stopped drinking, he was still wobbly on his feet, and Liam moved one hand to the base of his back to steady him.  
Their bodies seemed to fit together. Liam’s hand, big and strong slid perfectly into the small of Zayn’s back, and the other, which he put on Zayn’s shoulder to stop him toppling forward, could feel the muscle definition of Zayn’s shoulder blade. It was too much for Liam and he moved away, yanking the balcony door open and stepping into the hotel suite.

Zayn followed him inside and shut the door behind him. “Li, I, ah….” Liam stood, wondering what was coming next. He figured Zayn was about to kick him out, embarrassed about how close they’d sat on the balcony and worried Liam would get the wrong idea. “I don’t want to be alone tonight. Will you stay?”

That wasn’t what Liam was expecting. In fact, out of all the things in the world, that was the last one he expected to hear. “Whatever you want Z. But you have to sleep – we both do, we have a flight tomorrow and a show in the evening.”

Liam kicked off his shoes while Zayn changed in the bathroom. This was unchartered territory for him. Well, unchartered in real life anyway. Liam had imagined this happening more times than he cared to admit. Getting ready for bed, slipping under the sheets and having Zayn’s fingertips slowly explore his body was one of his favourite daydreams.

He decided that the safest bet was to sleep fully clothed on top of the duvet, so Zayn would feel comfortable enough to rest. Yup, that’s what he would do. He lay down, hands behind his head, trying to relax when Zayn reappeared. Cotton pants and a long sleeved Henley covered up most of his skin, but the top of his chest with his maze of tattoos was visible and Liam couldn’t help but watch him as he walked to the bed.

“Thanks for staying Li. I know it’s weird but it makes me happy when you’re here.” Zayn mumbled. Maybe Zayn felt just as easy with Liam as he felt around Zayn. Liam pulled back the sheets on Zayn’s side and told him to get in. “I’m just going to lie here and get some rest too. You need to try and sleep Z.”

Zayn slid into the creamy soft sheets and curled up on his side, his dark hair fanning over the pillow as he faced Liam. Liam reached over him to turn the light off, plunging the room into hotel blackness. As he moved to lie back down, he felt Zayn’s fingertips trace along the inside of his arm. Frozen, Liam’s mind simultaneously shut down and went into overdrive.

Proving that it wasn’t just a slip of the hand, Zayn reached for Liam, touching him softly on the back of the neck. “Don’t let me go Li, stay here with me.” Drawing him close, Zayn’s lips touched Liam’s, so gently, so hesitantly and in a way, reluctantly. Was this how it was meant to happen, Liam thought, tipsy melancholy Zayn reaching out to him in the darkness?

Zayn pushed his tongue into Liam’s mouth, not with any urgency, but slowly, like he had all the time in the world to explore him. Liam, on the other hand began to want more than he knew he could get. He could feel his cock tightening in his jeans, pushing against the tight fabric. Against his better judgement, he took his hands to Zayn’s face and returned the kiss, slipping his tongue into his mouth and pulling closer to him.

It was slow and intimate and it scared Liam. He could feel his heart beating as fast as his cock was growing and he knew he was in for double trouble, short term arousal and long term heart angst. But as scary as it was, the feeling was addictive and Liam couldn’t stop kissing Zayn. It seemed as if Zayn couldn’t stop kissing him either.

They lay there, side by side sharing lazy kisses as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Liam kept his hands on Zayn’s face, afraid to let go as Zayn softly touched the nape of Liam’s neck, pushing his tongue further into his best friend’s mouth. He pulled back slightly and gently bit Liam’s bottom lip, a tiny moan escaping his lips.

Liam couldn’t stand it anymore. He pulled away and put his hand on Zayn’s chest. “Stop” he whispered. “You’ve had a big night and you don’t want to do something you regret tomorrow. Zayn said nothing, but Liam could feel him nodding in the dark. “Try and sleep Z. Tomorrow, someday, we can work out what just happened. But tonight, you need to sleep.”

Zayn put his hand over Liam’s on his chest. “Please get under these covers and sleep properly Li.” Liam was powerless to argue and he slipped his jeans off and crawled into bed. Just like on the balcony, they immediately found a way to fit together, Liam cocooning Zayn until he felt his breath slow then slip into gentle snores. Somehow Liam dozed off too, lulled to sleep by the smell of Zayn’s hair under his nose and the memory of kissing somebody who gave him real fireworks.

 

.....

 

The next morning, Liam woke up alone. Groggy and disoriented, he reached for his phone. 9:17am. He was late, seriously late. The cars were leaving for the airport at 9:45 and there he was in somebody else’s bed with that somebody nowhere to be found.

“Z, are you still here?” No response. The room was silent and Liam didn’t have time to wonder what had happened. He threw his pants on and left the bedroom, noticing all of Zayn’s things were gone.

9:41 and Liam sprinted to the car, bags in hand. God knows what he’d left in his room for the cleaning staff to find, but 25 minutes from asleep to packed and ready is a marathon effort.

“Alright Liam, leave it to the last minute why don’t you!? You missed my story about last night!” Niall yelled from the window of the van as Liam threw his bags in the back. “Shut up, I slept in!” Liam jumped in the van and slid in next to Louis who handed him a muffin. “Breakfast leftovers – you’re gonna need it while you hear Niall’s story”

Niall launched into a wild tale about his trip last night to the hotel pool while Liam munched on his breakfast. As hilarious as the tale was, Liam was distracted by Zayn staring out of the window. He hadn’t said a word since Liam got in the car, and he hadn’t moved his gaze from the road.

“Liam, Liam, are you listenin’? I said, she dived straight in with me, clothes and all!” Niall was on a roll and Harry was in the mood to rev him up. “I bet she didn’t keep those clothes on for long, hey Nialler!?” “Well no Haz, now you mention it, no she did not!” Louis, Harry and Liam cracked up while Niall gave himself a round of applause. There was silence from the window, with Zayn seeming to not have even heard the story.

Louis looked at Liam, but he just shrugged. The lads probably assumed Zayn was still upset about his phone call last night and for all Liam knew, that’s what it was.

The van pulled into the underground entrance to the airport and the boys were whisked through security and onto their waiting plane. Liam sat down and Zayn sat next to him. “Why didn’t you wake me up this morning? I woke up and you were packed and gone!”

Zayn stared at him, put his headphones on and pulled his hood low over his head, saying nothing.

 

.....

 

After four days and three cities of the silent treatment, Liam had had enough. The only time Zayn would speak to him was during their banter on stage, when you would swear that nothing was wrong. Post show hangouts were moved to Niall’s room, as Zayn had told the boys he didn’t feel like socialising.

On the fifth night, the boys were having a quiet beer, discussing who were better, tennis WAGS or football WAGS. Liam and Harry loved tennis and were voting that way, but Louis and Niall were on team football. They needed a tiebreaker vote.

“Alright, who’s goin’ to get him?” Niall asked. He looked over at Louis and Harry, who were tangled together on the couch, heading straight for make out town. Harry looked over at Niall as Louis kissed down his neck “I think we’re done for the night Nialler. Liam, you go. Tell him he needs to cheer up, or at least be miserable with us.”

Liam was happy to oblige. Five days of not speaking to his best friend was too much and while he knew he shouldn’t be, he was angry that Zayn had kissed him and then given him the cold shoulder. “I’ll leave you to watch the lovebirds Nialler.” Niall groaned and threw a pillow at Haz and Lou, who barely noticed, as Liam left the room.

 

.....

 

He didn’t bother knocking before letting himself into the suite. He found Zayn on the sofa with his sketch pad.

“The lads have sent me Zayn. They miss having you around.”

“I don’t care. They know I’m upset.”

“They do Z, but they want to help you. They want to be able to support you!”

“Liam,” Zayn sighed “get out of my room. I don’t want to talk about this….. with you.”

Liam saw red. “You don’t want to talk about WHAT with me? That your best mates want to make sure you’re OK? That we’re worried about you because you haven’t spoken to us in five days? That we want you back hanging out with us? WHAT ZAYN, WHAT?”

Zayn looked up, his hair falling over his eye. He ran his fingers through it, pushing it away, before standing up and tossing his sketch pad on the coffee table. “Liam, I can’t deal with you right now. I can’t stop thinking about what happened last week and I just don’t want to think anymore.”

Liam stood there, motionless. What was he supposed to say to that? He shuffled his feet on the plush carpet and stared at his kicks. “Z are you angry at me for what happened?” he said.

They stood there for what seemed like an eternity and Liam thought his legs were going to give way.

“No. Just the opposite.”

Liam looked up from his shoes to where Zayn stood in front of him.

“Li I’m not angry. How could I be angry at you? You get me. You know how to make me feel better. I don’t know what happened between us the other night, but I’m not angry. I just don’t know what to do next.”

Liam shuffled again. He didn’t know what to say, what to feel. He realised that he was the angry one!

“Then why the silent treatment Z? Why have you shut yourself up in here every minute of the day? Why have you left me wondering what you’re thinking?”

Zayn hated to talk, let alone to talk about his feelings, but something hurt inside when he saw Liam standing in front of him, his eyes showing just how angry he was. He sat back down on the sofa, leaned over, grabbed his sketch pad and handed it up to Liam.

On the crisp white page was a pencil sketch. It was the two of them sitting on the balcony with the night sky behind them. Liam looked down at the page, looked at their hands intertwined just how he remembered it and he realised he could not not kiss Zayn again.

He put the book on the table and leaned over where Zayn was sitting, putting his hands on the back of the sofa, and his legs on either side of Zayn’s, locking him in underneath. He softly rested his forehead on Zayn’s and he felt him tilt his head up to meet Liam’s lips. But Liam was still angry, and he wasn’t letting Zayn have what he wanted straight away. This was his tiny chance to torture him.

Holding his position, he put one hand on Zayn’s shoulder, pushing him back against the sofa, and gently moved his lips towards Zayn’s, running his tongue so lightly over his lips that Liam saw him squirm in the seat underneath him. Slowly, he lowered himself down until he was sitting on Zayn’s lap and immediately he felt Zayn’s hips push, grinding himself into Liam.

“What do you want Z?” Liam whispered, his nose touching Zayn’s. “Tell me what you want”

Zayn put his hands around Liam’s thighs, keeping Liam’s weight pushing into his crotch. “You. I want you”

Liam laughed as he put his lips over Zayn’s, gently biting his lower lip. That was all Zayn needed. He slipped his tongue straight into Liam’s mouth; those lazy slow kisses from a week ago gone. When Liam circled his hips, and put his tongue all the way into his mouth, Zayn moaned and tipped back, head resting on the sofa, his fingers digging into Liam’s thighs.

“Is this what you want?” Liam said into Zayn’s ear, slowly sucking his earlobe and kissing down his neck. “Don’t you go silent on me again now!”

Zayn grabbed the back of Liam’s head and kissed him passionately, fulfilling one of the fantasies Liam had held for so long. Slipping out from underneath him, and almost knocking him over in the process, Zayn pushed Liam onto the sofa lengthways and lay on top of him. Liam could feel how hard Zayn was already, matching his own cock, which was straining against his jeans, begging to be let free. Zayn sat up, straddling Liam’s hips while he peeled his shirt off.

“Now’s who’s silent Li?” Zayn smirked, as Liam reached up and ran his fingers over Zayn’s chest, tangling in his hair, which he hadn’t shaved. He traced his index finger over Zayn’s collarbones and down the centre of his chest, over his flat stomach until his finger reached Zayn’s waistband. Zayn gasped slightly at the soft touch, and he shivered, goosebumps breaking out over his bare arms.

Liam grinned. “too much Z?” Zayn shook his head and began to grab at Liam’s t-shirt, putting his hands on his abs. His body was much thicker than Zayn’s, and he pushed his thumbs into Liam’s stomach while his fingers fanned out over his ribs. His handspan couldn’t match Liam’s torso, but the touch was sending Liam wild. He rolled Liam’s t-shirt up all the way to his armpits, and Liam obligingly raised his arms and his head off the sofa, so Zayn could slip it off.

Zayn kept Liam’s arm above his head and ran his fingertips over his fingers, round his wrist, his forearm, down his bicep and over his armpit, circling his fingers to roll over his nipple. All the while Liam watched him, his skin feeling alive underneath his fingers. Zayn looked at him and grinned, taking Liam’s other arm above his head, lying forward and kissing him again, pushing their chests together.  
Liam moved his hands to Zayn’s back and they lay there, feeling the heat of each other’s skin and the warmth of their mouths. It was 1am. “Bedtime” Liam said, mainly because he was desperate to get Zayn in there, but also because he was being squished by the beautiful man on top of him. Zayn stood up and pulled Liam up with him by the waistband of his jeans. “I thought you’d never ask” he replied, taking Liam by the hand and walking towards the room, flicking the light off as he went.

 

.....

 

The next morning, the sun came up on a rest day. A whole day off – the most luxurious thing you could hope for in a life of go go go. Some days, the boys would go exploring. Wherever they wanted to go, they could. Roads were shut off, tourist attractions closed just for them, VIP access granted. Other days, family members would fly in to spend time with them and they’d just catch up on real life. Other days were sleeping days – the laziest of all the rest days.

Liam woke to see Zayn leaning over him, pushing his fingers into his sides. “owwwwwww Zayn, whaddya doin’?” It was a shock for Liam to see Zayn lying there, knowing he hadn’t slipped out during the night, and thankfully, knowing he hadn’t dreamt that yesterday had happened. “I’m trying to wake you up Li. I’m bored.”

Bored? Zayn? Sleeping was normally his favourite activity and they certainly hadn’t done much of it during the night. Liam had had Zayn’s fingertips on him just as he wanted, but they’d left it at that. “I could probably find something to entertain you Z….”

Zayn’s eyes twinkled at him as he cradled Liam’s cheek in his hand. Liam propped himself up and kissed Zayn’s forehead, his nose and his lips. Feeling slightly more awake, he pulled the sheets around him and climbed on top of Zayn, his legs straddling his hips. Putting his hands on either side of Zayn’s shoulders, he kissed his chest as Zayn reached up, running his hands over Liam’s biceps and shoulders. Zayn’s skin was warm and soft and Liam’s tongue licked his nipples, which went hard as he brushed his tongue over them.

Liam shuffled further down the bed and put his hand flat on Zayn’s stomach. Looking up at him from this angle was beautiful. With Zayn’s eyelashes framing his closed eyes, the blissed out look on his face was the best thing Liam had ever seen. “Z, you alright? I’m going to keep going.” Zayn opened his eyes, grinned and then bit his bottom lip. “I’m not bored anymore Li.”

During the night, Liam had spent time touching Zayn’s cock, but taking it in his mouth was really what he wanted. Long and perfectly thick, Zayn was hard as Liam put his head down, but as soon as his lips parted he could feel Zayn stiffen even more. He took Zayn in his mouth a quarter of the way and let his tongue swirl over his slit, Zayn’s hips rolling beneath him. Liam held Zayn’s thighs and moved the whole way down, taking all of him in his mouth. Liam realised quickly how much Zayn liked it, and how to breathe through his nose so he could keep going.

Softly, he ran his hand up Zayn’s thigh and cupped between his legs and as if on cue, Zayn moaned deeply. The sound turned Liam on more than anything he’d experienced before, and he sucked hard on Zayn before pulling back and swirling at his head again. Zayn moaned again and pushed his hips hard at Liam, forcing him to take all of him again. Liam greedily took it as Zayn began to thrust deeply into Liam’s mouth, his hands behind him holding onto the headboard as he writhed on the bed. Liam widened his knees, giving himself room to touch himself while he took care of Zayn. Never in his wildest dreams did he expect things to be so good so quickly. “Li, I’m close. I’m gonna come.” Part of Liam panicked, but he was too hot to move away. He sucked hard as Zayn’s hips arched high and then swallowed when the bitter taste came.

Exhausted, Zayn fell back to the bed and Liam rested his head on Zayn’s hips, too tired to move, but still so hard himself. Zayn lifted the sheets and peeked at him, beckoning him to come up for air. Liam put his head on the cool pillow and felt Zayn’s fingers grip around his length, slowing stroking until he couldn’t handle it anymore. He let go, sticky liquid pooling on his stomach as he sighed, all the air leaving his lungs.

They lay there catching their breath until Zayn began to laugh. The same face scrunching laugh Liam had seen a million times before; at Niall’s jokes, at Louis’ pranks, at the signs in the crowd that fans would make. Liam propped up on two elbows and looked at him. “What’s so funny?” “This! Fuck Li, what the actual fuck!?” He was smiling, so Liam knew he meant it in a good way. Zayn lay his hands comfortably across his chest. “Where do we go from here? I was heartbroken 5 days ago and now I’m, what…? I don’t even know.” Liam lay there, drinking it all in. “I don’t know either Z, but I want to find out.” Zayn rolled over and kissed him. “So do I.”

 

.....

 

A few hours later, Liam could hear the click clack of a card in the electronic lock on Zayn’s door. He stirred, trying not to wake Zayn, who was dozing, his head on Liam’s chest.

“It goes in that way Haz, turn it around and stick it in that way.”

“Lou, don’t tell me how to stick it in, I know how to stick it in.”

The door beeped twice and the sound of hysterical laughter filled Zayn’s suite as Harry and Louis tumbled in. Liam shook Zayn to wake him and went to jump out of the bed, but he’d missed the chance. The bedroom door swung open, filling the room with light for the first time in almost 18 hours.

“Well well well” Harry chirped merrily. Liam was surprised at how unsurprised Harry looked. Zayn, on the other hand looked like he’d just seen a ghost. He threw himself under the covers, pulling the sheets over his head.

“Oh Zayn, don’t worry about this lad, nothing me and Haz haven’t seen before!” Louis declared, opening the blinds on the far side of the room. “We assumed you two had finally worked things out. It’s a long time coming if you ask us.”

“Nobody asked us Lou.” Harry interjected. “Now c’mon, you’re not missing our afternoon off – we’re all going out for a long lunch. Zayn, get in the shower. Liam, get in your own shower and both of you change your clothes. Nialler’s downstairs ready to go and he’s found a boat we can spend the afternoon on. Liam, you can tan that pasty body of yours.”

Liam was touched by the fact that neither Harry nor Lou said anything about finding he and Zayn together, and that in truth, they both seemed chuffed it had happened. He looked at Zayn who was shuffling towards the bathroom. “Z, you alright?” Zayn looked up and nodded. “Better than.” Eyes smiling, Liam left the suite, headed for a shower and clean clothes as instructed.

 

.....

 

Seven weeks later, the last night of the tour had arrived. The boys had criss-crossed the world and finally they’d arrived back on home soil for six sold out shows in a row. As usual, the crowds had been amazing, and miraculously given the amount of touring they’d done, all the lads felt energetic and excited, right to the very end.

To celebrate, the record company were putting on a huge party at the contemporary art museum on the banks of the river. All of their family and friends were invited – a real chance to let their hair down and enjoy the first night of their three months off.

Zayn and Liam dressed together in Liam’s suite. While the other boys knew they were a couple, nobody else knew, so their plan was to head into the party with the lads and just have a night as mates. Liam looked over at Zayn, who was fussing with his hair in the mirror. Again. He couldn’t quite believe how much time Zayn spent to get his look just right, when Liam thought it looked perfect from the minute he woke up. He brushed his teeth and when he finished, kissed Zayn on his bare shoulder before leaving him to continue fussing with his hair.

Their stylist had sent over outfits for all five of them, and as had so often happened, Zayn and Liam’s had a tiny matching element. It had been their thing for so long now, as if the fashion experts in their lives knew they belonged to each other before they did themselves.

Liam eyed off his outfit approvingly, slim cut inky blue jeans tucked into the most amazing pair of black suede hiking boots he’d ever seen, white t-shirt and a black blazer with leather lapels. It was simple and so him. As he dressed, Zayn reappeared from the bathroom still with only a towel wrapped around his hips, but with oh so perfect hair. “Holy hell Li, you look gooooood.” Zayn padded over and kissed him softly. Liam touched his cheek, breathing in his warm scent of almond body scrub, talc and cologne.

“Don’t start anything you can’t finish Z” Liam grinned, tugging at the towel around his waist. “Get dressed so we can go party.”

Zayn pouted as he wandered off to throw his clothes on. It amazed Liam that he could put no effort into his outfits and yet still always look catwalk ready. The stylist had chosen well for Zayn. Very well. He tucked a crisp white shirt into a pair of tight distressed black leather pants, the leather matching Liam’s jacket lapels perfectly. As he laced his shoes, identical to the ones Liam had on, he called him over and asked him to roll his shirt cuffs for him.

Liam obliged, his fingertips softly brushing against Zayn’s skin as he rolled. Zayn moved in closer and ran kisses along Liam’s neck. Once Liam had finished, he stood back and turned Zayn around so they were both facing the mirror, his arms around Zayn’s waist and his chin on his shoulder.

“Nice couple, Z.”

Zayn nodded. “Nice couple Li.”

 

.....

 

The party was big. The museum had huge open space on the ground and three staggered mezzanine levels all framed with a glass wall that overlooked the river. Tiny tea lights covered over every possible surface and weeping cherry trees in pots were strewn throughout the party. The space looked like a magical enchanted garden and it took everything Liam had not to grab Zayn’s arm in awe when he walked in the room.

Louis and Niall were already in there, lost in the crowd, and Zayn and Liam too were soon swallowed up by well-wishers, record company executives, and finally their families, who were enjoying themselves on one of the mezzanine levels, roped off from the crowd milling on the floors below.

After an hour of shaking hands, hugging old friends and smiling for countless photos, Liam finally had a moment to himself by the bar, where he gratefully accepted a beer from the bartender and propped himself up for a few moments to relax. Appearing at his side, Louis slid a plate of canapes over to him, his black singlet tucked into black jeans making him look much more like a rock star than Liam knew he was inside.

“Where’s Haz?” Liam asked, filling his face with tiny tartlets of goat cheese and olives, “and can we get a pizza after this is done?” Louis laughed and grabbed the plate back to help himself. “Oh he’s here; in fact he’s decided he’s going to get his Fatboy Slim on tonight and DJ for a while.” Louis pointed down to the dance floor, which was heaving, and to Harry, in spray-on acid wash jeans and a loose black shirt open to his navel behind the DJ decks, pretending to know what he was doing. Liam grinned “he’ll do anything for attention; he’s getting worse than Nialler!”

“Who’s worse than me Li?” said Niall, appearing at the bar, helping himself to vodka and the rest of Louis’ snacks. “Haz is, taking up the DJ booth duties!” Niall looked down, and not to be outdone, swallowed his mouthful of food and skolled his drink. “We’ll see about that – I can feel a dance-off coming on.” Liam groaned, and filled Niall’s glass with vodka for himself.

Louis ran his fingers through his hair, slapped Liam on the back and headed off towards the dance floor. Harry had just dropped the first few beats of Vogue and Lou was off to get his vintage 80s Madonna on. Liam looked around, searching the crowd for Zayn. On the lower mezzanine he spied him, deep in conversation on a chaise lounge with a dark haired woman Liam didn’t recognise.

The woman was gorgeous; Liam could see that from miles away. Long and lean, her frame was dressed perfectly in a cream silk shift dress, long legs curled underneath her as she leant in to talk to Zayn. To his Zayn. Liam was confused by what he was seeing. He could see Zayn running his fingers through his hair and over the back of his neck, which he often did when he was nervous or anxious about something, but he had his head pressed close to hers, listening intently to what she was saying.

The natural move of people through the party obscured Liam’s view of the two of them, and when he moved to the side to get a better view, Harry was standing in front of him, the hands on his hips pushing his shirt even further apart. “Li, do you work at this bar? Is this your new job, serving beers to our friends?” Liam laughed, glad to have something to break up the icy feeling taking over his insides. “No Haz, I think my job is to muck around with you most of the time. Fancy a dance?”

They hit the floor as the actual DJ (glad to have his job back) dropped Love On Top, one of Beyonce’s most underrated tracks, Liam thought to himself as he kicked his heels out to the sides, fists clenched. A small circle had formed around the two of them and Niall fought his way through to have a boogie with his mates. The three of them grooved for a few songs before Louis arrived with a tray full of tequila shots. Liam loved these rare nights where they could have a few drinks and relax without being worried about appearing in the newspaper tomorrow looking like bad role models.

The four boys adjourned upstairs to the private mezzanine to watch the party unfold some more. Zayn was already there, feet up on the lounge with a beer in his hand. “Zaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayn, we missed you on the dance floor!” Niall wrapped his arms around Zayn’s face and rubbed his face in his hair, tousling it gently. “Hair Nialler, hair! Watch it.” Niall grinned and sat down next to him.

Liam passed beers around to the rest of the lads before perching on a high stool. Louis got to his feet and clinked his and Harry’s beers together dramatically. “A toast!” he declared. “Lads, here’s to a brilliant tour and an even better holiday to come. Threeeeeeeeeeeeee long months away from you all. Well, except for you Harold. You can probably stay for a while.”

“To holidays!” the boys said in unison, before drinking quietly.

Shortly afterwards, Harry and Louis said their goodbyes. They were off to Harry’s mum’s house for a few weeks of uninterrupted peace and quiet before going back to the city to the home they’d bought together. Niall was spending his holidays in Australia, as he often did. He loved heading “down under”, where he was free to live anonymously, hanging with his friends and seeing as many sporting events as he could.

Liam and Zayn were going to Zayn’s country house for the holidays. The boys had laughed so hard at him when he bought the place – but the high walls and the sweeping grounds were private and secluded and Liam was looking forward to escaping there for lazy days and nights with Zayn.

The two of them took separate cars back to the hotel. Zayn slipped out the back of the party, ever the man of mystery, while Liam left through the front, thanking everybody for coming on his way out – a gracious host always. When he got back to the suite, Zayn was out on the terrace having a cigarette.

“Li, I need to tell you something.” Zayn called out to him, as Liam sat on the bed taking off his shoes. “mmmmm ok. Want a cup of tea, I’m putting the jug on.” Liam said. Zayn came inside and closed the door behind him.

“Liam, the record company sent a woman to the party tonight to talk to me.” Liam set down the spoon he was stirring the sugar into his tea with and looked up. “Cream dress? I saw you with her.” Zayn nodded.

“She asked me to consider leaving the band. Now – well, over this break at least. The label think now’s the time for me to record a solo album.”

Liam felt winded, as if he’d been punched in the stomach. He put both of his hands on the counter top and tried to suck some air into his lungs as his brain had a meltdown. If Zayn left the band, that was the end of it. The other boys were great, but they were at their very best with Zayn anchoring their harmonies and slaying the crowds with his soaring solos.

“What did you tell her?”

Zayn sat on the bed, shirt unbuttoned all the way open, his head in his hands. He shook his head slowly.

“Zayn, I said, what did you tell her?”

Liam turned to face the man sitting in front of him, his hands on his hips, heart threatening to burst through his t-shirt.

“I told her it’s what I wanted,” Zayn couldn’t bear to look up to see Liam’s reaction “but that I had people I needed to consult first before I made a final decision.”

“It’s what you want? Now? It’s what you want now!?”

Zayn’s lips barely moved. “It is.”

Liam grabbed his wallet and phone and wordlessly left the suite. He got to the end of the corridor before he collapsed against the wall, hot tears burning his face.

 

.....

 

The holidays stretched out in front of Liam like a long road that he didn’t know. Instead of going to Zayn’s house, he’d headed to his own flat in the city. Barely used, it was filled with furniture that looked, smelled and felt brand new. It hardly felt like home, but it was a private escape and a place for him to rest and to try and shut out the thoughts that were invading his head. The night of the party he felt fear creep into his heart and it hasn’t left him since.

How could Zayn want to leave the band? Musically, Liam knew it was probably the right thing for him to do; he had the R&B voice of their generation and songwriters and producers were lining up to work with him. But at his heart, wasn’t Zayn part of them? They had made it together, and it wasn’t just the voices that made them work so perfectly.

The fear that gripped Liam wasn’t just about the music though. What happened to them if Zayn took flight and left Liam behind? That was the question he didn’t know the answer to and he didn’t even know how to ask it in the first place. He’d stopped feeling jaded on stage since he and Zayn had got together and he didn’t want to let that feeling go.

On the bench, Liam’s phone buzzed - another text from Zayn. It was the only way they were communicating, Liam terrified his voice would give him away if he spoke to him.

_Z: This house is empty without you. Come down for dinner tonight?_

Liam sighed. It wasn’t him that had pulled the rug out from underneath Zayn; he’d done that all on his own. But running from Zayn wasn’t going to fix things and he did want to find out what happened at the end of their story, even if Zayn wanted the end to happen quicker than he did.

_L: I’ll bring the wine._

As he climbed into his car for the hour trip to the country, Liam thought about all he stood to lose - his musical brother, his best friend and now his lover. He was worried too for Harry, Louis and Niall, all of who were oblivious to the storm on the horizon. Somehow still, the butterflies crept into his stomach as he rounded the bend for Zayn’s house. Despite the fear and the worry, he still missed Zayn more than anything and was anxious to see his face again.

Zayn was standing at the door when Liam pulled into the driveway, the sleeves of his grey cable knit cardigan pulled low over his hands. “God Li I’m glad to see you” he said as Liam approached him. They stood at the doorstop in silence, foreheads touching, Zayn's arm around Liam’s waist. “Come inside, there’s food to go with that wine.”

Inside, the kitchen smelled like garlic and basil and tomato. Zayn rummaged through a drawer for a corkscrew while Liam opened every cupboard looking for wine glasses. He didn’t know if they were just going to pretend nothing was wrong, or if Zayn was building up to a big reveal later in the evening. Zayn pointed him in the direction of the right cupboard and when Liam brought two glasses to the bench, Zayn took them from him, put them down and said “I haven’t made any decisions Li. I’m not doing anything until we talk and decide what’s best for us.”

That was the release on the pressure cooker. Zayn poured the wine as Liam stirred the sauce on the stove, pretending he’d made it himself. They caught up on what they’d done in the weeks they’d spent apart, which as it turned out was depressingly similar for them both – takeout food, quiet nights in and feeling miserable without each other.

Dinner was delicious and Liam felt the fear in his heart slowly washing away. Somehow it would work out, wouldn’t it? He finished the last of the red wine in his glass and looked up at Zayn. He felt at home, at peace. As they packed away the last of the dishes, Liam felt Zayn come up behind him at the bench, pushing his hips into Liam’s back. “Come to bed Li, I’ve missed you.” He turned around and kissed Zayn, his mouth melting into his boy’s wine stained lips.

Liam was nervous. He and Zayn had been together so many times and had got over the awkward first time phase for everything, but the weeks away from each other had left Liam scared that they’d lost their groove. The time apart had also left him craving Zayn’s touch and based on the speed at which Zayn took him upstairs and closed the blinds, it seemed as if he wasn’t the only one.

Zayn pulled back the duvet on the king size bed as Liam unbuttoned his shirt and slipped off his jeans. “Alright Z,” Liam exclaimed as he slid into bed, “these are some soft sheets! How much are you spending on linen mate?” Zayn laughed as he hopped in next to him. “Only the best for you Li! Although, it seems pretty wasteful given how dirty I’m about to make them.”

He drew Liam close and kissed him hard, his tongue probing every part of Liam’s mouth. The hairs on Liam’s neck stood up – he had missed this and god it felt good. Liam linked his legs through Zayn’s, pushing them closer together. He couldn’t keep his hands still; they were running over Zayn’s head, down his side, over his nipples, wherever he could reach. Zayn let out a happy groan and Liam could feel him smiling underneath his kisses.

“Liam, I love you.”

The words hung in the air like a puff of smoke. Liam lay there, his nose touching Zayn’s, hands cradling his cheeks.

“I love you too. And I can’t believe how lucky we are.”

There was so much to talk about and so many things to work out, but for now, they made up for lost time, exploring each other inch by inch. Zayn was needy, his fingers clawing at Liam’s stomach and stroking the trail to his cock, which was getting harder by the second. “Touch me” he whispered in Zayn’s ear, his fingers tracing patterns on Zayn’s bare shoulders.

“I want more than that” Zayn replied, reaching for the drawer in his dresser. Liam rolled over onto his side and watched as Zayn rolled a condom over his cock, his fingers delicate as he touched himself. He reached out and brushed the hair from Zayn’s eye, which was sweaty and stuck to his forehead. This was his favourite Zayn Malik, dishevelled and without a care for how he looked. And he looked good, make no mistake. He looked good for Liam and Liam only.

Zayn sat, his cock perfectly erect, headed skywards. “Here Li, sit on me. Sit here while I fuck you.” Who was Liam to refuse? Zayn poured a circle of lube into his hand and kissed Liam as he slipped his fingers into him, two at first, loosening him, then three. Liam, on his knees, hovering over Zayn’s cock, moaned. Zayn knew the right angle to immediately hit his spot and it felt perfect.

He looked down at Zayn who was propped up with his other arm behind him, his bicep bulging as he supported his own weight. Chest arched as he fingered Liam, eyes closed with his tongue falling from his mouth, Liam knew Zayn was as turned on as he was, and he loved him for it.

“Fuck me Z. Take me now.” Liam leant down and bit Zayn’s lower lip as Zayn slowly withdrew his fingers and let his cock enter him, just the tip at first until Liam got comfortable, then, putting his hand on Liam’s hip, he guided him into place. All of him was inside Liam and it felt amazing. Liam could feel himself, tight around Zayn as they got into their perfect rhythm. Zayn put both hands on Liam’s hips as Liam raised his arms and crossed them over his head as he thrust.

He could feel himself getting harder, his own cock almost flush against his stomach as Zayn ground into him. He put his hands on Zayn’s shoulders and kissed his forehead, sensing he was close. “Li, Li, Li, I…...” Liam couldn’t help but laugh – this happened every time, Zayn’s words failing him right at the point when he wanted them most. Zayn collapsed backwards, the sweat beading down his stomach. Liam gently lifted himself up, then lay down and licked Zayn’s chest, the sweet salty taste turning him on even more.

Zayn lay next to him, panting, satisfied beyond words. “Li, I love you, I love you, I love you.” Rolling over to face Liam, he kissed him gently as he reached under the sheets to where Liam was still rock hard. “I love you, I love you, I love you” he repeated over and over as he crawled down Liam’s body and sucked him until Liam couldn’t lay there still anymore. He lifted up, fucking Zayn’s mouth, grabbing fistfuls of his hair as Zayn alternated between long slow pressure and gentle teasing. Liam tipped his head to the side as he came, moaning softly, eyes closed.

Ducking into the bathroom to get a warm cloth, Zayn returned and cleaned them both up, the love and care he took almost more overwhelming for Liam than the sex itself. He lay there, happy and calm and truly feeling like the luckiest man in the world.

 

.....

 

The early morning sun crept through the cracks in the drapes at the window, waking Liam from the deepest sleep he’d had all holidays. He rolled over and looked at his Zayn sleeping face down on the pillow in a tangle of hair, one arm over his head, one stretched out across the bed. He looked too messily perfect to disturb, so Liam got up, pulled on a pair of grey sweat pants he found lying across a chair and went in search of breakfast.

It had been dark when he’d arrived the night before, so he didn’t have a chance to take in the full view from the back of Zayn’s house. Tall bay windows in the kitchen framed the rolling countryside like a set of landscape paintings, green grass and blue sky, with purple lilacs flowering in the garden beds. Taking his tea and toast, Liam sat outside on the patio furniture, the morning sun shining on his back. It really was the secluded paradise Zayn had always dreamed of, and Liam thought he could get used to spending more time there.

He pottered into the kitchen to pour another cup of tea, grabbed his phone and headed back outside. While he and Zayn had been busy overnight, it seemed as if Niall, Harry and Louis had been busy too, catching up via group text message. He sat down and scrolled through the texts.

_N: Lads, its morning here in Melbourne – please be awake so I can tell you my overnight story!_

_H: Lou and I are up Nialler, although he’s falling asleep in my lap watching old episodes of Glee._

_L: I just want to watch the Teenage Dream scene and then its bedtime. How are you Nialler – tell us your story!_

_N: Where are Z and Li? Or don’t I want to know….?_

_L: We haven’t heard from them in weeks – they probably haven’t come up for air. Story! Story!_

Liam, smirked, raising his eyebrows. Perhaps that was true for last night, but if the boys only knew what was happening behind the scenes! That said he was glad they were getting a chance to have a proper holiday before they started worrying about Zayn.

_N: Oh that’d be right. Young love, so adorable. Although, I think I may have stumbled across a keeper myself last night lads. Her name is Carla and she’s a nurse. And I think she’s the nicest girl I’ve ever met._

_H: Carla and Nialler! Your names sound the same, it’s too good to be true! So, what did you do to her? Are you sneaking out of her place as we speak?_

_N: I did nothing! We met at a bar in a laneway, and we talked all night, then she got a cab home. Just one kiss, that’s it…but I’ve asked her out for lunch today._

Liam was surprised by what he was reading. Niall, taking a girl on a second date, unheard of! He kept scrolling.

_H: Ooh la la! Keep us posted lad – Louis’ gone to sleep but we’ll want a full update in the morning._

There was just one more text in the thread; sent an hour before Liam had woken up, which he figured must have been almost 6:00pm in Australia.

_N: Lads, she’s amazing._

Liam smiled as he tossed the phone back on the table. Niall deserved a little bit of romance in his life, and it’d be nice for all of them to have a somebody at the same time. He stretched up, lifting his arms above his head, getting rid of the last of his morning cobwebs. Inside though, he could see Zayn sleepily putting the coffee pot on the stove, his morning grump far from gone.

“Morning sunshine” Liam called as Zayn finally shuffled through the door, trying to balance his coffee and toast and cigarettes all while trying not to trip on his pyjamas, tied low around his waist.

“Mmmmmmm coffee, then talk” he said, perching on the seat next to Liam, lifting his legs up and putting them in Liam’s lap.

As he drank, Liam filled him in on the texts. “Well I never.” Zayn said finally, running his fingers through his hair and back down over his unshaven face. “He always did love Australia, maybe Australia loves him too.” Liam nodded as he rubbed Zayn’s feet.

“Z, how about we go for a walk up that hill today?” Liam said, pointing at the distance behind Zayn’s house. “Take a picnic lunch and make a day of it. Whaddya say?”

“Yes please. I want a shower first though please. And by that, I mean you and me.”

 

..... 

 

Neither Liam nor Zayn were really the country types, but they had a ball scrambling up the grassy hill, the fresh air and sunshine putting them both in the best of moods. At the top of the hill, Liam spread out the picnic blanket he’d carried in his backpack and they lay side by side, watching the thick clouds move about the sky.

“I could stay here forever” Zayn said, resting his hands behind his head.

Liam didn’t really know what to say. Now was the time to talk about the future, but how could he express what had been bubbling in his mind for weeks?

“Well Z you can’t.” He said finally, propping himself up on one arm, his head cupped in his hand. “Not if you’re going to stay in the band and definitely not if you’re going to leave us to go solo.”

Zayn sighed. He knew this had been coming, but he still had no answers for Liam.

“Li, going solo was always my dream. It was always all of our dreams. Now it’s there, so close I can touch it, but I feel so guilty for even wanting it.”

Liam leaned over and brushed the hair from Zayn’s eyes, as he’d done a million times before. “Don’t feel guilty; I know it’s an amazing opportunity.” He paused for a moment, terrified of the words on the tip of his tongue.

“But what about us Z…. What happens to us if you go?”

Zayn sat bolt upright, pushing Liam’s hand away. “Nothing changes Liam!”

He got to his knees and took both Liam’s hands in his lap “Li, you’re the most important thing in my life. We have to make this decision together, because if me leavin’ the boys means I lose you, then I’m not doing it.”

Liam held Zayn’s hands tight, took them to his mouth and kissed them gently; trying to reassure him it was going to be alright. “You’re not going to lose me Z. But if you leave the band, then I need to work out what my next move is. Should I stay with the lads?”

Zayn dropped his head, eyelashes tickling his face as his fringe fell forward. “I wish there was a way for us to do something together; for it to all work out neatly y’know? I don’t want to not be on tour with you. If you were with the lads and I was on my own, we’d be separated all the time.

“Z I know. I’ve spent three weeks in my flat churning this over and over. We’d be separated.”

Zayn reached into his backpack and pulled out the containers of leftover dinner they’d packed for lunch. He chewed in silence, processing the impact of his decision. He swallowed and looked at Liam, a crafty look on his face.

“What about…..”

 

.....

 

Zayn and Liam were first to Harry and Louis’ house, Harry swinging the door open and pulling them both into a bear hug the second they stepped into the hall. “I’ve missed you both so much! How are you? And how are things? I want to know it all!”

“I do too” Louis shouted from the kitchen “so get in here and don’t leave me out!” Zayn laughed, shrugging out of his jacket and hanging it in the cupboard, putting Liam’s next to his. They walked behind Harry down the hall, Zayn slipping his hand into Liam’s and squeezing it tightly.

Harry ushered them into the kitchen where Louis was making his own hamburgers, ingredients scattered all over the place. Diving into the fridge, Harry returned with beers for everyone and they sat at the stools lining the bench, catching up. Harry told them of their holidays, spending time with their families and of plenty of relaxation time together.

“We spent a lot of time writing songs together too. Li, don’t be offended, I know Lou’s normally your collaborator, but we just hit a sweet spot and we created some nice stuff.”

Louis nodded, hands covered in breadcrumbs and minced lamb. “Z we were thinking of your voice as we wrote. But there’s sick tunes in there for all of us for the next album.” Zayn looked down and began to peel the label off his beer. He didn’t want to say anything until Niall had arrived.

Liam changed the subject. “You should see the mural Zayn did in his studio Haz, you’d love it. I didn’t love it, being cheated on with a set of spray cans, but it’s turned out very nice in the end”

Saying Liam thought the mural was ‘very nice’ was an understatement. Zayn had shut himself in the studio for hours at a time, not letting Liam anywhere near the room until he was finished. After making Zayn promise he wasn’t in there making music, Liam left him to it, deciding instead to swim laps in the pool at bottom of the garden and get back into his workout routine. It took eight days before Zayn was ready to show him. Liam went into the room alone, Zayn too nervous to go with him, in case he hated it.

The wall at the back of the studio had been transformed into the sketch of the balcony Zayn had done, the night sky filling the wall and creeping up the ceiling. At eye level, where their hands were in the original sketch, Zayn had written in his trademark scrawl ‘fire and water for your love.’

Liam stood in the room and let the art wash over him, speechless. Finally, Zayn peeked his head round the corner. “you hate it, don’t you Li? It’s amateur hour and I’ve ruined the space.” Liam turned to face him, his face wet with tears. “Shut up. Just shut up and kiss me.” Zayn came to him and Liam held him close, kissing him tight, his hands clamped around Zayn’s face. “It couldn’t be more perfect. You couldn’t be more perfect.”

The doorbell rang at Louis and Harry’s and Harry, bent over his record collection trying to find something to play, sent Liam to answer it. “Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiam!” screamed Niall, his hair blonder than ever, skin tanned from the Australian sun. “Nialler! I’ve missed you!! Lou’s making burgers, come in.” They wandered back down the hall, arms around each other like long lost brothers.

When they reached the kitchen, Liam looked over at Zayn’s face. He looked so happy, eyes lit up, nose crinkled as he laughed at Lou trying to hug Niall with hamburger hands. He knew how Zayn felt - having all five of them together again felt like home.

“Oh lads” Niall said between sips of beer “I’ve missed you all so much. I didn’t realise just how much when I was away, but now I do.”

Liam saw Zayn shift uncomfortably in his seat, but next to him, more surprisingly, so did Louis, sneaking a glance at Harry that Liam picked up on. Liam realised there was more going on in the kitchen than he realised.

 

.....

 

“I tell you lads,” Niall said, leaning back in his chair and throwing his napkin on the plate “I could move down there in a heartbeat. Warm weather, friendly people, little bit more time with Carla – I’d love it. Except for missing you lot of course.

Louis got up suddenly to start clearing the dishes away, but Harry put his arm on his shoulder and sat him back down. “Well Nialler, it’s funny you mention that, because me and Lou have been thinking over the holidays….”

“Don’t, Haz” Louis muttered under his breath, but it was too late.

Niall leaned forward, wide eyed. “Thinkin’ about what Haz? Lou? …..somebody? “

Louis put his hands over his face, pushed them through his hair and looked up. “Lads, Harry and I are thinking about doing something different. Moving into songwriting for a bit instead of performing.”

Harry looked around the faces of his best friends and felt the need to justify things. “We just need some proper time at home, just us… to be an old married couple for a while.” Looking at Louis, he added “maybe even _become_ a married couple.”

“Woah.” Zayn breathed.

“You right Z?” Lou asked, reaching his hand across the table.

“Yeah, just surprised. I thought I was coming with the big news tonight.”

Niall stood up and helped himself to the tequila on the sideboard. “Zayn Malik, do not say a word until I’ve had some of this. Haz, where do you keep the limes?”

As Harry and Niall searched the kitchen for the salt shaker and limes and enough shot glasses for all of them, Liam held Zayn’s hand tightly under the table, fully aware of what was coming next.

Zayn took a deep breath and started the story of how he’d met the woman in the cream dress at the party. As he told the boys what she’d told him and the decisions she’d left him to battle with over the holidays, Niall interjected.

“Z you have no choice, you have to do this. Forget us – you’re better than the four of us combined, isn’t he lads?” Harry nodded, Louis’ head resting on his shoulder. Liam could feel the warmth spreading through his chest at the kindness of his best friends. Even without hearing what Zayn had decided to do, they were supporting his solo move 100%, though they knew it would be the end of life as they know it.

“Thing is,” Zayn continued, looking at Liam for the strength to finish what he needed to say, “I couldn’t go out on my own and leave you behind…… leave Liam behind.”

Louis pushed his head into Harry’s shirt while Harry kissed his forehead. “It’s alright princess, Z’s not dying. Toughen up huh!” Even Niall was misty eyed at the foot of the table.

Zayn laughed “I know, this is all a bit sappy. But I have made a decision, if it’s alright with all of you. I’m going to go back to the record label and tell them I won’t go solo.”

Before any of them could say anything, Liam spoke for the first time on the matter.

“Lads, we’re going to record some stuff as a duo – see if our sound will hold up without the support we get from you.”

That tipped Louis over the edge and he began openly crying at the dinner table. “Oh you two! As if your sound wouldn’t hold up. It would be magnificent!”

Zayn exhaled for what felt like the first time in days. He was terrified of breaking the news and it felt as if a weight had been lifted from his chest.

Around the table were five sets of tears.

But never one to cry too much, Niall began to laugh and reached for his phone.

“What are you doing?” Louis sniffed

“Sending Carla a message, telling her I’m coming back to her for a while. Lads, I was serious before – I could move to Australia to be with her. And I mean, I wouldn’t have, if we were coming back to hit the road again…. but if you all have these amazing new things going for you, maybe I need to go and be with the amazing thing I’ve found.”

Liam couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. They had poured their adult lives into the band, and over hamburgers and beers they were going to give it all away?

“Wait wait wait wait wait” he said, spreading his hands across the table. “We can’t just disappear. We have to do it properly lads. One last turn around the world, together. It’s the only fair thing to do!”

 

.....

 

Zayn was drunk when Liam finally convinced him to stop hugging Harry and to walk the two blocks back to the flat. “Oh Li,” Zayn gushed as they walked “Li it all worked out.” Liam grinned, mainly at Zayn trying to walk in a straight line and awkwardly dance along the pavement at the same time, but also at the fact that Zayn was right. They’d all take a break and explore other things and most importantly there were no hurt feelings left in the room.

“Alright prima ballerina, how about you save the moves for the dancefloor and get inside before somebody sees you?” Liam unlocked his front door and pushed Zayn though, locking it behind them. As he stood with the key in the lock, Zayn put his hands on the door and pushed his hips into Liam’s back, lips brushing Liam’s neck as he spoke. “How about you take me upstairs and fuck me now?”

Liam didn’t need to be asked twice.

The bathroom in Liam’s flat was the place he’d renovated first when he bought it. Tired of years of being stuck in hotel rooms having to shower over tiny bathtubs, he’d installed a double rainwater shower so he’d never feel claustrophobic again. Right now, it looked like the best decision he’d ever made.

Zayn sat Liam on the edge of the bathtub and kissed the top of his forehead gently, his fingers caressing his cheek as stood. Liam sat and watched as Zayn undressed before him, pulling his thin cotton top over his head and unbuckling his belt. Liam reached out to touch him, to help him, but Zayn pushed his hand away. “Just sit and watch Li….”

This was torture. Liam wanted to touch his skin, to roll his fingers through the hair on Zayn’s chest until he reached the waistband of his jeans, and slide them off himself. But he wasn’t in control and that was turning him on even more. Zayn watched Liam watching him as he took off his jeans and his briefs. He got under the shower and turned the water on, the jets instantly wetting his hair and trickling water over his shoulders. Liam didn’t know where to look. Zayn pushed the wet hair out of his eyes, then ran his own fingers over his chest, before finally touching his cock, which was just as hard as Liam’s, but not trapped under layers of clothes.

“Come here and get me clean will you?” Zayn said, biting his lower lip as he grinned. Liam wasn’t sure he could get out of his clothes fast enough.

The water was warm and Zayn’s hands slipped over Liam’s skin as he kissed him, reaching down to feel for his length. “I thought you asked me to fuck you” Liam murmured into Zayn’s ear, water running over his head, his hands around Zayn’s waist. “I did.” Zayn replied, slipping his tongue into Liam’s mouth as he rested his back against the bathroom wall. “In fact, I think I said fuck me now.”

Zayn was needy and a tease and he was all Liam’s. Putting his hands on Zayn’s shoulders he turned him around, putting his arms against the wall. They were at a perfect angle where the water ran down Zayn’s back and straight between his legs. He was wet, and Liam was hard. “Touch me, please Liam” Zayn begged, twisting his head round to look at his love. Liam obliged, running his hands over Zayn’s shoulder blades and down his back until he reached where he wanted to. He could feel the water running between Zayn’s legs, so he slipped one finger inside Zayn to make him slick. Zayn began to moan and Liam pushed harder with two fingers, then three when he knew Zayn was ready.

Zayn had taken one hand off the wall and was touching himself, the sight of which made Liam harder than he thought possible. He withdrew his fingers and held his own cock, rubbing the very tip against Zayn. “Don’t. Stop” Zayn breathed, begging Liam for more. Slowly, Liam filled Zayn, his cock tight inside as he put his own hands on the bathroom wall.

The water ran over Liam’s head as he thrust, taking one hand down the wall to stroke Zayn, his fist clenched around his cock. Even covered in water they found their rhythm and Liam ground into Zayn as he sucked his earlobe. “More, more, please Li” Zayn moaned as Liam opened his legs wider, getting close to the edge. He tipped his head back as he came, the water gushing over his face as he filled Zayn. Withdrawing slowly, he sat on the floor of the shower, arms behind him supporting his weight. Zayn sat next to him and Liam leant over, putting his lips to Zayn’s cock, gently sucking him to orgasm.

They dried themselves and climbed into the fluffy robes that Liam had spent far too much money on while he’d been sad and online shopping. As they climbed into bed, Zayn looked at Liam. “Do you think we made the right choice?”

Liam smiled. “too late go back now!”

 

.....

 

True to his word that night at Harry and Louis’, Liam and the boys got organised, broke the news to the record company that the tour they were about to go on would be their last together, packed their bags and travelled the world one last time. Crowds were at fever pitch, clambering to experience the five boys together one final time.

Liam couldn’t quite believe what Zayn had given up to be with him. A solo career was a big deal and Zayn had walked away from that to start a new professional life with him. He’d also committed to sharing a personal life with Liam too, the two of them buying a penthouse loft with a sweeping balcony so they could sit and watch the city go by when they were at home.

A few months later after the dust had settled on the last show and the boxes were finally unpacked in their new place, Zayn’s phone buzzed by the bed at the same time as Liam’s flashed on the dresser. Zayn rolled over and through one bleary eye, opened the text message, from Niall to the two of them.

_N: Good luck for your big day today boys – I’ll be thinking of the two of you from down here. Can’t wait to hear the first cut of the single!_

Zayn read the text out to Liam and smiled. It was game day. They were heading to the studio to begin recording new material, including some of the first stuff written by Harry and Louis. It felt like a new frontier, stepping out onto a tightrope without a safety net.

Except Zayn did have a safety net; he had his Liam. Even if they failed, he knew he’d be safe. Liam touched Zayn’s cheek softly, running his thumb over his bottom lip as he’d done a million times before. “Ready to do this?” Liam asked, eyes smiling. Zayn kissed him gently, putting his own hand over Liam’s on his cheek.

"I am. I’ve got you.”


End file.
